Falling in love with you was like drowning

I gasped for air and struggled but no one saved me

It was an obsession

I became its slave

It was suicide

It was you.


So a couple of days ago this post was labelled…Call for a title but now thanks to ANDRESSA ANDRADE, it now has a title. So a public thank you to you dearie….Very much appreciated.😘😘


Before my eyes a dark abyss,

And its depths so entrancing

That I could not move.

No, I did not want to move.

My emotions playing a dangerous game

As I stepped into the darkness,

Its icy arms wrapped around me,

Swallowing me whole.

It did not take a while to know

That this could now be my home.

For in here I do not feel pain or hurt,

Neither do I yearn for love or lust.

The abyss pulled me in further,

Dragging me into its deepest depths 

Taking me to its darkest ends.

And all the while the shrill voices in my head screaming:

” The darkness cannot give you comfort. ”

But why does it feel so good, so right?

There has been no comfort above too. 

I desire a place where I cannot feel.

For the emotions that tug at me,

The feelings that bite through me,

They would kill me slowly.

Now should they ever resurface,

I will be in the deepest ends of the darkness

Where the pain cannot reach me.

So in the abyss I drift off to sleep,

Hoping for the day when I will get pulled back up.

The Lost Village…Episode 2….12:10pm.

..  In the time frame….the minutes of 12:10 – 12:20pm

” But how can we be cursed? We just got here.” Bode asked 

” And you have eaten and drank here. You even had Babu tell you stories. I say you’ve been here a while.” Zano said.

” You call the past thirteen minutes a while?” Onyeka asked.

Bode turned to Zano and asked.” You said we had more problems, what did you mean?”

From the corner of his eye Bode could see an old woman stand up from the floor and slowly approach them. Unlike Babu she didn’t use a stick to take her around but she looked a lot older than Babu did. First, she smacked Bode’s head and then reached for Onyeka’s ears, giving it a long pull until he yelped in pain. Then she coughed and started talking.

” Many years ago, Lost was a beautiful place. There were many beautiful trees,many wild plants and flowers. And when you took the right path,it led you to the River Kanu. We were never hungry and we were never thirsty. The neighboring villages envied us,we had everything. Babies were born and old people died. We used to be very happy people. ” She coughed and paused for a full minute before she continued.

” And among us you see,were gods. We didn’t know who they were, when they were born and into what families. But we knew they walked amongst us,so you had to be good to everybody. But we supposed they would come in through the best families. Surely it couldn’t have been any other way but how wrong we were.” The old woman shook her head sadly.

Onyeka had stopped rubbing his burning ears and was listening attentively to the story. They could as well get some entertainment in this perilous time frame they were in. 

” Tanaram was the shabbiest,filthiest, lowest villager in Lost. He ate whatever he could find,picking off people’s remnants in clay pots,chewing on mint leaves,building whatever his head could come up with. While everyone worked in the farms and got water from the river, Tanaram would sit and play with branches,sticks, stones,leaves. We thought he was outrageous.” She paused and continued. ” But no one minded him until he started to show off his creations. You see,we were simple minded people, we loved our comfortable life. It was not something we wanted to change. But he insisted. He said we would need it that we had to but children life was to good to change. So we ignored him , spat in his face and called him names. Over and over Tanaram tried but the people would not listen. And then one day when he was showing us how to use a net for fish, someone threw a stone sending him back to his space under the trees. And that was the last we saw of Tanaram.”

” Did he die?” Onyeka had to ask.

” Oh,no. When Tanaram disappeared I was a young adult, when he came back I was almost nintey three. The neighboring villages had packed up looking for better places to settle. We believed we could still live in Lost as comfortably as we had always done. But then the river started to dry up,the trees began to lose their leaves, fruits would not grow. The crops failed miserably. The priest said we had done a great wrong but we could not find out what it was. And then one day at the first light of the sun, Tanaram appeared.”

Onyeka gasped clasping his hand to his mouth. Bode looked at him and then at Zano, Babu and Mara who were all listening intently. It seemed only this old woman could tell the story so well. The other villagers listened too but slowly went about doing whatever little thing they could do. Kala was still writhing in pains from labor and there was still no path in the forest; no sign that this was all a bad dream.

” He appeared like a god. He told us he had waited patiently over the years,expecting us to come to our senses, hoping we would realize the eminent danger we were sentencing our generations unborn to. But we were stubborn people,too simple minded to look beyond what we had to see what we could have and this was not Tanaram’s way. So he cursed us and took with him his fellow gods: one of them my own daughter.” She sniffed and Bode felt his chest constrict with pain. ” Since we loved what we had so much,we could keep it. Inside Lost we would be confined for all eternity,reliving our days over and over again. There would be no new generations and we would maintain our comfortable life. There would always be food and there would always be water and we would never grow old.”

Babu took over seeing that the woman was slowly tiring herself out. ” And should the pattern of the time frame ever change, should we ever try to leave Lost, we would pay dearly.”

” So over the years,we have been holed up inside this prison we once called home. Listening to people as they traveled past the forest, learning what little we could from the inside but shielded from the outside world.” Zano continued.

” But now you have come….” A young male adult said in a hushed tone.

” And the pattern of the time frame has changed.” Mara completed.

” And we would pay dearly? ” Onyeka asked his face turning pale.

” So you have never tried to leave Lost?” Bode asked and they shook their heads sadly. ” So what happens now?” 

” Only Roku knows.” The old woman answered.

Onyeka thought he could hear the rumbling of thunder but there was no rain. ” Who is Roku?” He asked.

” Roku was our priest,diviner, healer ,all roles religious; our path to the gods. He disappeared after we were cursed by Tanarama.” Babu answered.

” You think the gods took him?” Bode asked doubtfully. 

” No, Roku had been on his way to the River Kanu the day we were cursed. His own time frame probably begins at the path that leads to the river.”

” But he could have come to the village during the hour if the time frame,couldn’t he?” Onyeka asked.

” Yes,but he never has.” Mara answered.

For the first time Bode peered closely at her, she raised her head and his eyes met her big brown ones and then quickly looked away. “But there are no paths here.” Bode said.

” We have searched for decades,” Zano said. ” But we keep running in circles and ending back here.”

” Tanaram will come again.” The old woman Nana was saying. ” And when he does,all hell will let lose.”

Onyeka heard the thunder again and looked into the sky but just as he expected he saw nothing. Bode didn’t know about ancient gods but unreligious as he was, he resorted to mumbling silent prayers of appeal to the deity he knew.

The Lost Village..Episode One….12:00pm

…In the time frame….the minutes of 12:00 – 12:10pm.

Once again Bode and Onyeka were standing on the exact spot they had stood just a few minutes ago upon walking into the gathering of the villagers. Activities had changed quickly,as a matter of fact too quickly. The three year old child was now in a gathering of toddlers his age. Bode briefly wondered if they could all talk too. An old man who had been drinking something from a clay bowl when they had gotten here now had his back turned to them,he was speaking to a younger adult and didn’t look as frail as he did before. The sight that caught the boys more was that of the pregnant woman. A few minutes ago she had been delivered of one baby and was pushing out the second and now she was just being ushered out of her hut,heavily pregnant and groaning in pains by the two older women.

      ” What is happening here?” Onyeka asked screechingly. Bode couldn’t answer,he too didn’t know what was happening. 

” Hey, what is going on here?” Onyeka shouted causing the villagers to look up from their various activities. Their eyes held different emotions all jumbled up together; fear,pain,sadness…Bode was about to shout a repeat of Onyeka’s previous question but was interrupted.

” You have doomed us all.” The voice said,it was a woman’s. She was of average height,uncombed tangled black hair hiding her face. 

Onyeka frowned and taking a step forward,he wagged his fore finger menacingly at her.              

 ” Doomed is the correct word but I believe it is us who have been doomed. Where is the path?” He yelled throwing his arms in the air. The woman ignored him and turned to face Bode who had his mouth slightly open and his body shaking uncontrollably. 

” You should have left when Zano asked you to.”

” What…what is happening here?” Bode stuttered looking at the woman. ” Zano? You mean that toddler? Its 2017 and you are all here living in history, how is that even possible? What happened to the path?” He asked turning around to point at where the path had been. ” And that pregnant woman, she just had a baby  a few minutes ago but now she’s….”

     An old man stood up and sighed heavily. His long crooked stick aiding him in walking up to Onyeka who was now taking careful steps backwards. The old man wore a sad smile on his aging face. He stopped a few steps from Onyeka and spoke, his voice calm. ” I will tell you what is happening. But first, some food. ” And he turned around and yelled to the young woman who had spoken a little while ago. ” Mara! Some bread please. ” She scowled but made her way to the small hut for the food.

   ” We don’t want your food old man.” Onyeka said. The man chuckled and said without turning back. ” Your stomach disagrees my child. “Onyeka’s stomach made a rumbling sound and he clutched himself in embarrassment.

” Come, sit,sit.” The man said slowly walking away. ” I will tell you what is happening. ” The boys looked at each other as if for approval, nodded and followed the man making their way admist the different pairs of peering eyes. Bode looked in the direction of the toddlers who were mumbling. It should have looked like a bunch of three or four year olds making loud noises and giggling and saying gibberish but it felt like a meeting among elders. The old man was seated on a long fallen iroko tree at one corner of the compound, he beckoned to them to join him. Mara brought the bread in large leaves and Bode instantly remembered his mother folding up leaves to pour in moin moin paste and nearly broke down in tears but he chocked back the sobs and adjusted his sitting position beside the old man. They took the leaves for Mara and muttered their thanks.

” This, is the Lost village. It has been so many years I don’t remember what the real name is. We all just call it Lost. Here,time does not pass.” Onyeka who had been hungrily munching his bread started to speak but the old man hushed him. ” Let me finish. ” Onyeka swallowed and nodded. Bode still hadn’t touched his bread,it didn’t look too different from normal bread- not bad for something prehistoric. It just had an odd shape.

” At Lost,there’s a time frame,an hour from twelve noon and then back to twelve noon. All our activities fall within that one hour and then you start all over again from where you began at twelve. Our bodies do not grow but our minds do.”

” What?!” Onyeka blurted out before he began to choke on his bread.

” Is that why the pregnant…” Bode started to ask. The old man nodded and answered sadly. ” Every time the timeframe begins, Kala goes through labour. It’s where she starts from every hour. Everyone has an activity they start from every hour.”

” But that’s horrible.” Onyeka said looking mortified.

” I know.” The old man said.

” She’s suffering.” He chipped in sadly.

” I am very aware of that. ” The old man answered.

” It’s too much pain.” Onyeka said.

” I know.” The old man repeated.

” For how long?” Bode asked dropping his untouched bread.

” Its been over a century.I have been eighty nine years old for more than a century.” The man answered giving them a sad smile.

” You have been stuck in this so called time frame for a century?” Onyeka asked.

” I believe I just said that.” The old man retorted glaring at Onyeka.

” How? How did this happen? You have to so something.” Bode said standing.

” There is nothing we can do.” Zano said approaching them with two other female toddlers behind him. It was still hard to match the manly voice to the body of a toddler. This was all too hard to believe. So three year old Zano was actually over a hundred and three,that was probably over five times his age! ” I am afraid there are much more problems than Babu is telling you. Some of which you have caused.”

” Us? What more problems?” Bode asked wondering what more could probably happen.

“Being stuck in this one hour time frame, how exactly did it happen?” Onyeka asked.

” Lost was cursed. It’s still cursed.” Zano answered.

” Cursed?” The boys chorused shell shocked.

“But what about us,how do we leave?”

” You don’t. You’re cursed too.” Mara answered drily as she picked up the leaves.

And just then Kala’s loud cries pierced the sky. The babies were coming.


The Lost Village…The Prologue…11:53am

Seven minutes till noon: 11:53am

” I can’t find the path, Onyeka I can’t find the path.” Bode panicked. 

” Would you stop shouting?” Onyeka gritted through his teeth desperately trying to be patient with his friend’s constant fussing. Bode’s face looked drawn and drained. His eyes bulging out as he scanned the bush for the path they had been following. One minute they had been on it, a few meters away from the rest of the geography team and now it was just….gone. If he didn’t know any better, he would think it had vanished. He raised his head up to look at the sky but it seemed the trees at this side of the forest were taller than the ones they had seen up until this  moment. They were all blocking the view and only little rays of sun light found way to his face.

     ” We should have stayed with the others, I told you….” 

    ” I’ve found it.” Onyeka interrupted him. Bode didn’t look so convinced. The path they had been on didn’t look as thin and covered in grasses and  shrubs as this one.

” Onyeka, are you sure this is it?” He asked folding his arms across his skinny chest.

His friend glared at him and asked icily. ” Well, do you see anyotber path here? Hmm? No, exactly, no other path so this is it.”

 ” I still think we should keep…” Bode started to say but Onyeka took him by his thin arm and dragged him along.

The path led to an opening in the forest. It was like a small compound enough to contain a little over eight mud huts  as it did. There were several fire places heating up old clay pots. Bode thought the trees that fenced the small compound were the tallest in the whole forest. The tall iroko trees looked very old, cobwebs wound around the trees barks and on the leaves. No more than thirty people paraded the grounds of the little community with very little sounds; just a few bare feet shufling and some murmuring. There were a dozen children, some toddlers, a handful of old people and other adults; one of them a heavily pregnant young woman who seemed to be in labour; she was pushing out her second baby: an older woman held one of the tiny infants covered in blood while another urged her in a small voice to push. Their faces looked drained, stressed out and bored, like this was nothing new for them; like it happened very often. Some raised their heads to look at the boys but that was the only attention they got.

” I told you this wasn’t the path.” Bode hissed and Onyeka simply shrugged.

” Well, we’re here now. We might a well just ask for a way back.” He scratched his head for a second before turning to his friend and asking skeptically. “This is probably a movie scene,right?”

 ” I don’t see any props or directors or stuff. These people look like they live here.”

Onyeka began to speak raising his voice loud enough for all to hear and saying his words one by one. ” Hello everyone, my name is Onyeka. Its nice to meet you.” 

” What are you doing?” Bode whispered. ” I just said they live in the forest, that pretty much means they don’t speak English, don’t you think?”

” Well,it was worth the try. See this little kid’s walking up to me.” He smiled.

The little boy could not have been anymore than three, yet there was something in his eyes that said he knew way more than his appearance was telling. Bode couldn’t quite put it together but the child looked young but then again he looked really old. He wondered how many generations had been reborn here oblivious to the world outside. The boy stopped in front of Onyeka and stared at him for a while before turning to look in Bode’s eyes. 

It was two minutes to twelve, and they were away from their group, in the midst of a group of prehistoric individuals. A few of the adults were looking in their direction but when Bode raises his hand to wave, they looked away in fear. He turned to Onyeka who was on his knees cooing at the child. He wanted to speak but a voice beat him to it.

” You must leave this instant. Before noon comes you must leave. ”

It was the child, the one Bode thought couldn’t be over three. His voice, it belonged to a man not a child of three. The boy had a stern look on his face,one probably meant to punctuate his words. Onyeka jumped in fear the same moment his head snapped to look at his friend in shock.

” What in lord’s name just happened?” He asked looking from Bode to the child and then back at Bode.

” We need to leave here Onyeka. We need to leave now.” Bode said in a hushed voice,his eyes scanning the environment and the sorrow filled faces of the villagers who now held his gaze. He turned in an instant, preparing to run down the path they had come but it was gone.

” Onyeka, where is the path?” He asked distraught.

Onyeka was pulling the little hair on his head,his hands shaking in fright. Bode’s watch beeped. It was twelve and they heard the little boy say. ” Time up.”

Cherry Mails…#001


Dear Gareth,

                By the time you read this I’ll be far, long gone in the great beyond so read this well. Do not think,just read. I remember the first day we met,it should have been like the regular cliche moments; the love at first sight scenarios but I remember how well we hated each other. It’s funny now how such intensity morphed into what I cannot fathom.

            So like all regular stories we did fall in love an like all regular love stories, we had our own conflict. Well,you had the conflict. You chose to run,to hide from the feelings. You will never know the weight your actions put on me. I never stopped wondering why you let me love you so whole heartedly when you knew you were far too much of a coward to do so back. So you tripped and fell out if it all. It scarred me.

         I fought long and hard Gareth, I couldn’t win. So each day I lost that inner battle. I kept losing and I fell more in love with you who I could not have. I did not understand how I could be so silly even after all that time. But it’s all gone now I’m in. a place where the worries cannot reach me. I hope you are well Gareth.

       Stop a while and look at the child who has given you my letter. Ask for his name. He said Gareth, didn’t he? He’s yours. That which you planted inside me fifteen years ago. Do not begin to doubt, the resemblance is striking and he has been a reminder of you for me up until today. Take care of my boy Gareth. I love you.

                                              Yours forever,



When I Die….#Excerpts from a Sad Girl’s Diary.

When I die don’t come to my grave

Don’t fucking kneel and weep on it

When I die don’t bring me flowers

I’ll be dead I can’t smell them

When I die don’t tell me how much you loved me

Those are the words I wanna hear alive

When I die don’t say you miss me

You never had even a second for me 

When I die don’t come telling me how sorry you are

I can’t forgive you, I will not forgive you

When I die don’t hang around my folks

They don’t need someone like you

When I die you can blame yourself

It wouldn’t be a lie…You killed me.